


Subconscious Attraction

by bookskitten



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Breaking The 4th Wall, Crack, Crack?, Cuddles, F/M, and slow burn, chat and mari are being obvious dorks, if you find the plot of this story kindly send it to me, marinette is #savage, maybe crack will be our always, not the inexitent plot that's for sure, random duets of disney songs at odd hours, this is literally a shitpost, this story is just a bunch of random shenanigans, video games - Freeform, what burns slowly?, while their brains are screaming at them that they are in love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-08-13 01:46:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7957513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookskitten/pseuds/bookskitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The last thing Marinette expected was to have a sass off with Chat Noir. After she knocked him off her roof with a slipper because he kept yowling off tune. It was an odd way to start a friendship, but hey, what's the worst thing that could happen?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Me:*has another story in progress and one hundred unfinished oneshots*  
> Me:okay, but what if we start another multi-chapter story
> 
> Hello everybody, welcome to the crack feast that is this story. If you expect quality you are in the wrong place, this story is a shitpost through and through.
> 
> Sorry if there are any mistakes.

Marinette bit on her pencil for what might have been the hundredth time. Might be. She stopped counting at thirty five. Being an artist was a pain in the ass sometimes. And by sometimes she meant most of the time. She huffed annoyed with herself and took a sip of her coffee. It was coffee this time, not her painting water, luckily. But back to the main problem. Marinette’s blue eyes were fixed on the paper trying to come with a good idea for the upper side of the dress. The skirt was perfectly pictured in her mind and so was the train, but the corset and sleeves gave her problems. She needed something outstanding. Wait…

Marinette’s face lit up as a little idea bloomed in the corner of her mind. She was about to start drawing when she heard an odd sound coming from the roof. Well, not exactly her roof, but the apartment building roof. Did the neighbor's kid try to steal the baby monkey from the zoo again? Marinette grunted in frustration, her idea forgotten. She got up and listened carefully. The sound seemed to get closer and Marinette grabbed one of the slippers and got up. Was it a stray cat yowling? Was it a serial killer? Either way her pink slipper with flowers will be the reason of their death.

“ _I'm king of the highway, Prince of the boulevard, Duke of the avant-garde, the world is my backyard._ ”

Marinette frowned as she climbed up to her balcony. She looked around and she almost groaned. Not the kind of yowling stray she expected, but oh well. She closed one eye and aimed, her tongue stuck out in concentration.

“ _Calcutta to Rome or home, sweet home, in Paris, magnifique, you aaaaahhhhhhhh_ ”

Marinette watched unimpressed as Chat Noir fell off the chimney and faceplanted the floor centimeters away from her feet. He looked up, annoyance clear. Until he noticed who threw off his groove.

“Why Princess, didn’t anybody tell you there are laws again harming animals?”

“There are laws against disturbing the peace as well, but it doesn’t seem to stop you.”

Before Chat could reply, Marinette grabbed his bell and picked him off the ground. He didn’t seem to be that phased by the fact a girl who was one head shorter than him lifted him up like the was weighting nothing. Marinette gave him her sweetest smile then dropped him over the balcony's railing. She turned around, dusting her hands off and whistling happily. 

_Time to get back to my dress design._

Chat Noir vaulted over her head landing gracefully in front of her.

_Or not._

“Well, princess, that was awfully rude.”

“Not my fault you lived under the impression I was nice.”

“I still think that you are nice.” he smirked at her, making Marinette narrow her eyes.

Alright, let’s go in swooning mood. Maybe she’ll get rid of him like that.

“Oh, Chat!” Marinette faked a longing sigh while taking two big steps towards him. “ Whenever I think of you I have to touch myself.” she put her hands on his chest and looked straight into his eyes while a blush started spreading over his cheeks.”This translates to I rub my temples because you give me a fucking migraine.”

She doubted she ever saw Chat so offended. He put on a classy demeanor and smiled at her.

“Ah princess, you are so sweet. As sweet as a lemon.”

Marinette glared. Oh, he wanted war? War be it!

Needless to say, she didn’t get to finish the design that night. She didn’t even get too much sleep. All because she was caught having a sass off with Chat Noir. Which surprisingly, it was worth it. Mostly because he got Marirekt.

Given she wasted her Friday night on her balcony sassing the shit out of a boy in a cat leather suit, she decided to be productive on Saturday night. The designing was going good, she only had to color the dress and it would be perfect. She was trying color palettes on a separate piece of paper when there was a knock on the window. Marinette was surprised to see a pair of green eyes staring at her. She sighed and opened the window. Chat Noir entered the room with all his cat grace. He cleared his throat and looked pointedly at her.

“And another thing!”

Marinette groaned.

Apparently, you shouldn’t get in an argument (or sass battle) with Chat Noir ever because he will show in your room at oddly hours with another argument or comeback he remembered while in the shower. After the fifth time he did that, Marinette just left the window open. And they did more than sass each other, sure. They played video games and had conversations about their favorites movies and books and things like that. While Chat was stuffing his face with food like he was having pain au chocolat for the first time in his life. Saying it was odd was a misunderstanding. And a voice in her head which sounded ridiculously much like Tikki was screaming at her that she was making a big mistake.

But, hey, what’s the worst thing that could happen?


	2. Cat Person

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear the chapters will become longer at some point.

Adrien didn't mean to hear it. It just happened. He zoomed out while he was looking over his history notes and overheard a tiny bit of conversation between Marinette and Rose.

“...no, I’m really not a cat person.”

The blond straightened in his chair. She wasn’t a cat person?! Unacceptable. This kind of problem required further research and an eventual solution in cases it proves itself true.

Oh great. Now he sounded like Nathalie.

 

\-----------------------------------

Marinette was humming happily while she was entering her room with a huge plate of cookies. Tikki was already snoozing on her pillow in the little dollhouse Marinette perfected for her. So maybe she could have most of the plate of cookies for herself while finishing the black skirt she had been working on. For carrying the power of the quantic god of good luck, she wasn’t exactly the luckiest person, though as it can be noticed in the paragraph under.

When Marinette was about to settle the plate on the edge of her table a certain black cat decided to storm through the open window scaring the living shit out of her.

“What do you mean you are not a cat person?!”

Marinette let out a scream, while she slipped on a misspaced piece of fabric, throwing the plate of cookies in the air. Cat reflexes zooming, Chat caught her by the waist, pulling her in a french dip a la _Gone with the wind_. Then just as fast he snatched the plate and managed to catch all the cookies which were previously flying through the air. Marinette blinked. Were they in a cartoon or what?

“You are quite the cat-ch, princess,” Chat smirked, settling her back on her fit while placing the cookies on the table.

“What are you doing here, Chat?”Marinette questioned.

“Well, a little birdie told me you aren’t a cat person.” he took a bite out of a cookie. "And I’m here to prove that is very much not the truth.”

Marinette rose an eyebrow, “And how exactly are you gonna do that?”

He gave her a knowing smirk, then pointed to her desk.

“Proof number one.” Marinette looked at the cat head box and rolled her eyes.

“Proof number two.” he leaped onto her loft and lifted her cat toy so she could see it.

“Whatever Chat. Maybe I keep it cause it is fluffy.”

“And finally,” he leaped back down and laid in an overly sexy position on her settee while pulling a rose out of fuck may know where putting it between his teeth and winking.”Proof number three.” he pointed to himself.

“I’m not a cat person.” she argued.

“Mmm, yes you are.” he said nonchalantly while putting his hands under his head.

“No, I’m not.” 

“Denial is more than a river in Egypt, you know.”

Marinette gave out an annoyed huff and jumped on top of him, pushing him against the settee.

“I. Am. Not. A. Cat. Person.” she growled while holding into his bell and glaring at him

“Sure thing. I can simply picture you singing. Hey kitty, kitty, you’re so pretty, pretty, don’t go kitty, kitty, stay with me.” he sang off tune.

“I swear I’m gonna gag you.” the bluenette threatened.

Chat’s eyes lit up and suddenly Marinette knew whatever she said was a big mistake. That look only meant trouble. He had a good comeback ready and Marinette wasn’t even sure what she said to make him look like that.

“Oh,” his grin was so wide he almost resembled the Cheshire cat. “kinky.”

Marinette gave him one of her trademark _I’m-beyond-done-with-your-shit_ glares. Then she picked a random piece of cloth and shoved it in his mouth.

“Just shut up already.” she ordered getting off him and grabbing a cookie.

Few second of frowning later Chat Noir spit the cloth out of his mouth.

“I was oddly turned on by that.”

“Chat if you came to talk about your kinks, I’ll rudely ask you to get the fuck out.”

“No, I didn’t. But we could totally talk about your kinks. See if we share any.” he joked

He ducked just in time to avoid being hit straight in the face by the plate of cookies. Damn, Marinette got a good throwing arm.


	3. Fashionista

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's assume for a second the costume comes off okay?

Watching Marinette work was surprisingly relaxing. And also quite fascinating. Chat was simply charmed by how much attention she paid to details. The way every stitch was basically invisible on the material and how carefully she threaded through it. The way she cut the material in a lacy pattern and sewed it on the upper half of the dress. The simply adorable way her tongue stuck out of her mouth while she was frowning in concentration.

Chat bit from the eclair absentmindedly while continuing to observe her. Her tongue was no longer sticking out and Marinette started biting her lip in concentration instead.

 _Huh, interesting. Ladybug does that too sometimes. It looks awfully familiar. Maybe it means something...Nah._  
“There's a shortage of perfect lips in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.” he blurted out before he could control himself.

Marinette didn’t even bother to look up. She just snorted and continued sewing till a few minutes later when a lot of less than flattering phrases left her mouth. Chat was surprised. Pleasantly surprised to say at least. Who would have thought sweet little Marinette had such a dirty mouth. But well, that could be said about him too, especially in his civil form. Either way, he knew something was wrong. Because people who swore rarely keep the swearing only for special occasions.

“What’s wrong Princess?”

“I need someone to wear the dress so I can properly see if the movement is alright and if not what should I change in stitching. Which I obviously can’t.”

“I can model it.” Chat’s ears flattened against his hair as Marinette’s laugh filled the room.

“You? A model? As if.”

_Oh. Princess. Only if you knew._

“You are saying that only because I’ll look positively fierce in that lovely dress.”

“You have a leather catsuit on.” Marinette pointed out.

Chat gave her a wink then started undoing her zip, slowly. When he reached the limit he put the suit of hs shoulder and arms, leaving him bare-chested. 

“Did I leave you speechless?” he asked with a smirk.

“Yeah. Please, put your clothes back on, you are embarrassing yourself.”

“Don’t hurt me like that, Purrincess. Come on I’ll model for you.”  
He wrapped the upper side of the suit around his hips and then just casually took the dress of the mannequin and put it o himself. Say whatever you want, but black was his color. Then he took his baton and typed something fastly. The first notes of a song started playing.

_Everybody line up_

“You have to show a look, have a look or give a look.” Chat sang along”Faces, beautiful.” he pointed to his own face.

_Are you ready?_

_Fashion is the art, designer are the gods._ At this, he winked at her.

“The models pay the part of angels in the dark.” he mouthed while jogging to the other side of Marinette's room.

_Fashionista, ahhh, how do you look?_

Marinette was not easily impressed. She also watched all the fashion weeks since they began being filmed. And she could easily say Chat had one hell of a catwalk.

(Dieu, she didn’t just make a pun.)

He was superior to a lot of actual models she saw walking the big catwalks. How ridiculous was that?

Once the melody changed its tune, Chat also stopped the walk and started doing different poses. He might have looked ridiculous, but Marinette realized he was, in fact, testing the stretch capabilities of the dress without tearing it. The song changed the tune again and Chat resumed to his catwalk back to the far end of her room, striking a pose as the song ended.

“I think the dress fits wonderfully. I think the waist could be tightened a little bit, but it depends on who you are making it for I guess.”

“Me and given I’m smaller than you, I’ll probably need to tighten it. Come here.”

Chat stepped on the little stool and Marinette grabbed her tools and started working on the waist of the dress.

“Have you ever thought about being a model, chaton?”

“No, not quite.” he said, knowing smile on his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/9d/08/bd/9d08bd85937ec7e94fed4d02c9d70c4a.jpg


	4. Nose War

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you needed another confirmation that this story is on crack...

It seemed like a pretty normal night in Marinette room. She was working on some autumn designs while Chat seemed to want to top the world record at how many cupcakes can one fit in his mouth.

Marinette looked at him, narrowing her eyes to take in the detail of the cat ears. She was working on a Chat Noir hoodie after all. But of course, Marinette’s brain decided to get distracted. And by no other than Chat’s nose. Marinette will have a talk with her brain at some point about its standards.

But back to the main distraction topic also knowns as Chat’s nose. It looked...no. Yes! NO!

“Cwen e hulp jyu?” Chat said, mouth full of sweets.

“Yes, you can.” she narrowed her eyes and inched closer to his face.

Chat gulped down the food.

“Princess?”

“Your nose…”

“My nose?”

“It is like a cat nose!”

Chat blinked.

“Because I’m a cat?” he asked, not really sure himself.

“No, no, silly. It actually looks like a cat nose.” she booped it for good measure.”It is adorable.”

“Why thank you, princess. Yours is adorable too.”

Marinette frowned and narrowed her eyes.

“Yours is more adorable.”

“No, no, yours is.”

“No, yours.”

“Princess, you have the cutest nose in the world.”

“That's not true! Yours is the cutest nose in the world!”

Chat leaned in, his breath hot on Marinette’s face as he was fixing her with an intense gaze.

“Seems there is only one way to solve this argument.” he leaned closer.”Isn’t it princess?”

“Of course, chaton,”Marinette replayed not breaking the eye contact. ”I know exactly what you are thinking about.”

They leaned closer, their noses touching. And that's when they began. The nose war. Marinette was obviously more aggressive in the way she clashed her nose against Chat's, but Chat was more strategic keeping his nose from getting injured with too hard hits. However, Marinette pulled her best trick and pushed her nose against his from the side, making him back off.

"I win." she declared crossing her arms."Your nose is the cutest."

"And it is injured now in all it's cuteness." Chat added rubbing it.

"I have the perfect remedy for this." Marinette moved his hand, got on her tip toes and kissed his nose.

"Better?"

"Better." Chat confirmed.

Neither noticed the shade of red that took over their faces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is no reference in this chapter btw. But in the next one, oh boy, it is gonna be full of them.


	5. A whole new world

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, you all can guess the reference in this chapter. Also remember, it is crack. Sorry if there are any mistakes.

Marinette sighed and took another sip of her cocoa. The night itself wasn’t cold, but cocoa was her drink for pretty much any occasion. This time, the occasion was Adrien. Like all the other 321543 times.Goddamit. Why her brain melted faster than ice cream in summer when she was around Adrien was still beyond her. Seriously, she had crushes before and she was never this bad. There was something fishy there. Ugh. Did anybody's crush work out or them or was it all a myth?

“My, my and what brings you, my sweet macaron in such a foul mood?”

Marinette arched an eyebrow at Chat.

“Sweet macaron?”

“You said Princess was getting old and I need a new nickname for you.” he reminded her.

Marinette snorted. At least he distracted her for a second…

“Marinette?” Chat’s voice was softer this time and when she looked up, Marinette was maybe a little surprised to see genuine concern.”Do I have to ask or will you tell me?”

“Just girl problems. Sure wanna hear them?”

“I’m all ears for you.” he said and she got up.

“It’s just I like this guy. He is wonderful. So sweet, genuine and just always offers his help even though he has a super busy schedule, he helped me with my uncle once, you know. And honestly, he is such a great person and I have the biggest crush on him, but I’d be happy even if we were just friends, but we can’t be even that. Because my stupid brain stops working when I’m around him. It is incredibly frustrating,” Marinette sighed.”Do you know the feeling Chat? Being in love with someone out of your reach?”

“I might have a little idea,” he said sadly, looking in the distance at Notre Dame. Marinette leant against the railing and sighed. Why was love so complicated?

Few moments passed before she felt Chat move off her lounge chair.

“This is a lovely night. And we shouldn’t mope around like heartbroken lovesick fools.”

“We are heartbroken lovesick fools.” Marinette stated matter of factly, pushing in the back of her mind the fact that she was the reason he was in that state.

“True, but still.” he jumped on her railing.”Come on, let’s go on an adventure and take our minds off things.” he extended his hand.

Marinette narrowed her eyes. On one hand, she could really welcome a distraction. On the other hand...a lot of things.

“Tell me, princess, now when did you last let your heart decide?” Marinette couldn’t keep from giggling. She wondered how long till he would use that line on her.

“Oh, fine.” she accepted finally.

“All aboard Chat Noir express.” he said helping her jump on his back. Marinette secured her hands around his neck as Chat grabbed her thighs. Then he started shaking his ass and Marinette wasn’t sure if she wanted to laugh or groan. She forgot he does that before pouncing. Not that she got the time to tease him about that cause they were off.

Don’t get her wrong, Marinette loved the feeling of flying over the Parisian rooftops, but she preferred it when she was in charge of it. Still, she trusted Chat won’t drop her. On second thought, it was quite a fantastic thing. She got to enjoy the view without having to worry her yoyo won’t catch on something and she’ll become a creepe on the concrete. Chat Noir Express also seemed to have music incorporated. Her minou kept passionately humming something since they left. Marinette was pretty confident about what the tune was, but when Chat softly sang the next verse, she only got confirmation. Marinette rested her chin on his shoulder and continued the song, loud enough for him to hear.

“A whole new world, a dazzling place I never knew. But now from way up here it's crystal clear that now I'm in a whole new world with you.”

Maybe it wasn’t the most inspired thing to do given Chat almost lost the grip on his baton. He regained his composure fastly as he launched them over Palais de l'Elysée. Marinette hoped the president didn’t mind the two teenagers singing from the top of their lungs and thumping on his roof. 

 

“Unbelievable sights! Indescribable feeling!” both Marinette and Chat sang as loud as they could while Chat kept running over the rooftops. He made another leap with the help of his staff and Marinette had to get off his back for this one. She needed to dance on this duet. And they were in front of the rose window on the western side of Notre Dame, she just _had_ to spin a little in front of it, okay?

“Every moment red letter,” she said twirling around.” I'll chase them anywhere.” Chat joined her.”There's time to spare. Let me share this whole new world with you.”

Honestly, they were a little bit off tune and the falsetto was in bloom, but they couldn’t care less. Marinette turned around and kept singing. She didn’t even notice Chat did the same until they were few steps apart.

“A whole new world. That's where we'll be.” They closed the space between them and intertwined their fingers.” A thrilling chase.”

“A wondrous place.”

“For you and me.” they smiled at each other and bumped their noses together. The night really took a beautiful turn.

\------------------------------------

“Enjoyed the night with your girlfriend?”

“She’s not my girlfriend, Plagg! It was strictly platonic.” Adrien defended himself.

“You had a duet of a famous love song while jumping over the rooftops of the city of love. And you ended the duet holding hands on top of Notre Dame. It sounds awfully like a date to me.”

“It was platonic!” Adrien stubbornly replayed.

“Whatever helps you sleep tonight kid.”Plagg snorted.

\--------------------------------------

“Chat is awfully romantic, don’t you think?”

“Oh my God Tikki, that wasn’t romantic at all!”

“Are you sure? It sounds pretty romantic to me. A shame you didn’t kiss.”

“Tikki!”

“I’m just saying, it is perfectly fine to feel like that about Chat.”

“I don’t feel like anything about that stray. Now goodnight.”

“Whatever you say, Marinette. Sleep well. Don’t let the black cats bite you.”

“Tikki!”

**Author's Note:**

> Falling in love that's what. Btw people, I'll drop references ever chapter. This chapter has two references. Whoever gets all the references in one chapter can like ask for certain scenes/lines to be included. Given how cracky this fic is, you could ask for them to take a beach trip to Tenerife and it would probably happen.


End file.
